skool

University life circa 2001...essay due=hammer it out in the last 2 hrs, slap your student ID number on plus and an unusually high amount of intelligent sounding synonyms for simple words intersected by a plethora of direct quotes hoping to fool the profs into thinking you might have actually read the textbook.

University life now=I am up to my ears in papers.  I know that we used to complain about the sneakiness of multiple choice exams..."which is the most correct" garbage, but seriously, at least that method is quick and painless!  I am in constant disbelief about how long it has takes to write assignments these days.  Weeks!  I write, then re-write, then re-evaluate, and the vicious cycle continues...all the while the institutions have gotten smarter.  They no longer count essay length in 'pages' and now refer to it in 'word count'.  We are then allowed 1-2 direct quotes allowed per 1000-3000 word essay.  Direct quotes-that was my bread and butter!  Then, when you've read and re-read it so many times that your eyeballs are almost permanently cross-eyes (shout out to "One Crazy Summer" for those who've seen it), you hastily hop online to submit it.  At which stage the powers that be, up the ante one more time as your paper is digitally scanned into a database called "turnitin", a plagiarism wizard.  This database scans your document into the database for future comparisons, while searching for similarities between yours and the last 19394893 students who wrote a paper on the 'progressive movement of nursing studies in the tertiary sector'.  GAH!  At the end of the ten minute scan, you are presented with a percentage that you are supposed to be remaining calm about.  As if the assignment was not enough stress!  Gone were the easy days of perfecting my "BS Artist" degree with my writing...

Weird because I suck at writing this blog, until I've got a writing assignment hanging over my head.  Then to procrastinate, the ideas start flow like the salmon of Capistrano.  If you want to get a sucky thing done, pull an even suckier thing over your head...not that this blog is sucky-but...ok yep, this is rock bottom.

Home Improvements

There are a few home improvements that I have wanted to get done for a while here.  Today we had our fence put up, which is a far cry from the chicken-wire concoction we had there before.

 

I understand that you are probably bored to tears at the above pictures, but to us it's more than a defense of our property line....it means we can get pooches again!!!  We will be looking to foster 2 dogs from the pound asap!  yesssssss.

 We have also recently purchased a BBQ, and Chris' parents gave us an outdoor setting for Christmas!!! I will get to feel like an honorary aussie this "Chrissy" but throwing a 'shrimp on the barbie'.  Don't worry, it will be documented, and it will be magical.

Quilt Factory

It's blankie time, as one of my good friends here is having a baby in January.  She doesn't know what the sex is yet, but I think it's a B-O-Y!

The giraffe print is a flannelette so it is sooooooft :)

Holiday Headgear

'Tis the season to be jolly, and our local crossing guard aka "lollipop lady" is surely not letting this festive season pass her by without jazzing up the daily uniform with this cheerful chapeau.

Death by Fowl

They say that in Australia, there are more ways to die by an animal than any other country.  It is easy to see why when you take a quick gander onto this site.  You can probably guess how I have become so jumpy!  I have seen my fair share of cane toads, green tree frogs, cockroaches, spiders, lizards and geckos...but this next animal has caught me COMPLETELY by surprise. 

 

Pretty sure this pest belongs on the list!

 I can see you rolling your eyes, especially you Canadians who are used to this little fella:

 

This jovial and simple bird has a joyful song and at times gets confused thinking that it has found its life partner in a piece of tin foil gleaming in the sun.  Silly magpie.

Well the other day I got up early to go for a walk before work.  It was early, and I was tired, but it was a beautifully sunny day.  No more than 50 metres from my house I suddenly felt a breeze as I heard a "flap flap flap" and the gnashing of a beak in my ear.  

Don't be fooled, I did NOT look like the girl in the above photo.  I probably sounded like a cross between a cat being swung around by its tail and a tone deaf opera singer.  These 'sounds' (we'll call them for lack of a better word), were coming out my mouth at the exact time I was karate chopping the air.  I think I even got a high kick up in that routine.  It was the kind of fear where the subconscious took over, and probably made for one impeccable show should someone be peering out their window at that exact moment.  

Well what better than pure adrenaline to get your heart pumping, and that's exactly what it did.  For the rest of the walk I felt like I'd eaten a year's worth of halloween candy and a bottle of caffeine tablets.  The entire time I was on BIRD WATCH, and not the pleasurable kind.  I hate those birds!

 See informational clip below, and note the look in this little bastard's eye at mark 1:29....and Edgar Allan Poe was worried about a raven...

Quite frankly, I don't care where that instinct comes from...it's no excuse for him to start dive bombing my head when I'm trying my darnedest to stay active.   

 

Some people around town who ride their bike a lot find solace in the the"hedgehog-let"-a bike helmet with strategically placed zip ties to act as a variable 'bed of nails' for the swooping mongrel.

 

 They also say that a magpie won't swoop if you are looking at it, which I beg to differ, but in any case you could paste these to the back of your helmet:

I also like the homeade, eco-friendly version

 So what happens if none of these 'conventional' methods will stave off the angry beast.  I guess matters will have to be taken into mine own hands.  Here are a few of my brainstorming ideas:

 

Anyway, I think you get the point.

It didn't take a genius to harness the inspiration for this fascinator....