a) speaks English and
2) doesn't have Austin Powers as their snaggletoothed dental icon (sorry Brits, but have a little look around...)
I decided it was high time I get my chompers looked at, plus working for a medical benefits company would help to soften the blow IF there was anything that needed attention. I was about to disclose that I have only ever have 2 cavities in my life, but when you haven't been to the dentist in 7 years I guess that sort of snuffs out my credibility. Sort of like a nicely baked cake...from a mix, getting 2nd in a race...out of 2. You get the point.
I was pretty nervous. The last memories I have of the dentist was when I was pretty young, and the family dentist would rest his hands my face, and stretch my lips out so I'd look like Steven Tyler by the end of it. We called him Dr. Pain. Then there was my young adult visit when I had my wisdom teeth ganked out (I used to tell that story a lot an university, "we didn't have anaesthetic in Canada"). No anaesthetic was used, just a looooot of needles.
Alright, so back to the appointment. It's no secret, I like my sweets so needless to say, I had a few tiiiiny little "caries" that needed some attention. I went back for one appointment and was a little nervous for the needle, so it was very reassuring when the hygienist rubbed my arm when I was getting pricked. That appointment went off without a hitch and I had one other appointment to fix these pearly whites to ensure that I wouldn't look like a jack-o-lantern by next Halloween.
The second appointment was this week, but it wasn't with my usual dentist as he was out of town. I cruise into his office and he asks me a few questions including what medication I was on. I have been getting chronic migraines so I am taking medication for them, that apparently is weakening my teeth. That, along with the fact that he things my body is acidic. "Judging from your headaches, and the few "eruptions" you have on your forehead...I think your body is not running optimally". Talk about a double threat guy-a dentist and a naturopath all rolled into one. But a simple "blemish" or "spot" would have done JUST fine thank you. He asks me if he can tell me about his personal experience and I inquisitively tell him to go on.
He tells me that he had a colonic after he moved over from India, and that he is a changed man. I was trying to keep a straight face, not even a smirk-but inside I wad DYING!!! The plot thickens as he tells me more. He says he was flabbergasted to see what came out of him because out comes a 150cm TAPE WORM!!! I could NOT let that go without mentioning that I do NOT have a tape worm, and in this country it's not normal to have a live critter pulled out of your insides!!
Never underestimate what you consider to be a mundane or boring appointment!
N'Importe Quoi:
- listening to crickets is like slow torture!
- the wildest words come up in predictive text (T9) sometimes, it's like an adult version of mad libs
- if we all started our day with a giant belly laugh-what a better place the world would be!! (I love watching babies laugh on youtube, makes me crack up every time) <- don't start your pregnancy comments I'm just sayin. :)
